Should I Force My Kid To Play The Piano?
Maybe you remember being forced to take piano lessons as a kid – and perhaps you don’t want to afflict your child with the same thing. Maybe you “burned out” because of a domineering teacher, or maybe the lonely hours at the piano started to wear on you. Or maybe, as a child, the last thing you needed in your life was another chore! Nothing sucks the joy out of an activity like being forced to do it.
And herein lies the question – should you make your child play a musical instrument? It’s not an easy choice, and plenty of well-intentioned adults have made the wrong decision both in favor or against the piano. Hopefully the thoughts below will help you decide.
And if you do want to enroll your child in fun, interactive classes or piano lessons in Fairfax, VA or Alexandria, please get in touch – I’d be happy to schedule a free trial for you.
Be Careful: You May End Up Causing Your Child To Dislike Piano
Forcing your child to play the piano probably won’t have the impact you think it will — they will most likely end up frustrated, they’ll stop playing as soon as they can (when they reach high school, college, etc.), and they won’t find any joy at the piano. And if they can’t enjoy the piano at all, what’s the point?
Your child probably won’t start playing the piano on their own when they are young, and it is certainly your responsibility to place them in a position to experience and try new things (piano being one of them). So the point isn’t that you should not try out piano lessons for your child; the point is that after giving it a shot, if the child really dislikes the piano, it may not be the right artistic outlet for them.
Does Your Kid Dislike The Piano, Or Do They Dislike Practicing and Work?
Discipline is a character and/or a learned skill. Young children, unless they are an outlier, will not have the discipline to sit at the piano by themself and practice the piano. So naturally, you’ll have to tell them to practice.
But if your child starts saying that they want to quit lessons, you need to get to the bottom of the situation:
- Are they just frustrated that they aren’t seeing progress?
- Do they actually dislike the piano, or the other stuff, like practicing?
- Do they not enjoy the lessons or teacher?
- Do they hate having to sit at the piano by themself?
- Do they not understand that there are goals and accomplishments to be met during each practice session?
There are things you can do to remedy the situation. Firstly, talk to your child’s teacher. Are there clear expectations after each lesson? Does the child know why he or she must practice? If you explain goals and progress to your child, they may understand. Give them items to accomplish during each practice session so they can feel a sense of accomplishment.
Secondly, you can sit and practice with your child. Making piano practice an activity with your child will make it more rewarding for them, you’ll learn the piano too, and they enjoy it. It will also keep their mind focused on practice.
Young Children Need Special Consideration
If your child has taken lessons for a while, and if they’re old enough to make an informed decision that isn’t reactionary, it’s worth considering their desire to quit. But younger children are different.
Firstly, if you force your 3-5 year old to take serious private piano lessons, of course they will complain about practicing – it would be rare for them to like it. There are two routes you can take. One option is to find a fun, activity-oriented piano class that involves rhythm instruments, multimedia, and engaged classmates. That’s what we offer at MEA Piano Studio for beginners.
Your second option is to help your child “discover” music naturally rather than forcing them to sit at the piano. Encourage their curiosity at the piano or keyboard, get them musical toys, and allow them to see you interacting with the piano. If they start to express interest in the piano on their own, you’ve already won half the battle.
Remember, You Have More Perspective On Life Than Your Child
Very few kids would study or engage with any subject in school if they weren’t forced to do so, and music is no different. If you believe that arts education is a worthwhile use of time that will lead to a happier life for your child, then you may need to make the piano a required activity. So many adults wish that they hadn’t quit piano lessons, so you may be saving your child from a lifetime of regret.
The key is to make piano an experience that they love in the first place. Find lessons that are inspiring and fun, get a teacher who loves working with students and brings out the best in each of them, and commit to spending time with your child at the piano. If you do those things, you’ll be off to a great start.